Sometimes in solitaire games I change the rules a little. Some people might call this cheating but how can you cheat in a game against yourself? Another example is unlimited undos. I think of it as changing the rules to make it a better game for me. Still you can’t help but feel a little bit bad about it.
So far we have stayed in hotels and B&Bs every night (above is where we are tonight) and have not stayed in an albergue (pilgrim dorm) yet. Sometimes we feel a little guilty about it, like we are not real pilgrims. Also we only walk 7-10 miles a day and we sometimes feel a little guilty about that. Sometimes we are embarrassed when we talk to other pilgrims about where we started or how long we have been walking.
But it seems to me that this is similar to cheating at solitaire. We are just making the Camino rules so that it is the best possible Camino for us. Other people might want to do it differently.
There is an expression people on the Camino often use: “Everyone walks their own Camino.” People say this a lot but it is not clear how much people mean it. We continually shock people when we tell them how far (or not far) we walk each day. There is a lot of bragging about how far one goes each day. It is clearly higher status to go farther.
I remember getting on a bus on our first Camino with someone who was walking long days to keep up with a group of pilgrims he had hooked up with but his blisters had gotten so bad he was forced to take a rest and take the bus for a stretch. A major reason people walk farther than they want to is to keep up with a group they are walking with.
This morning we took a taxi five miles to the outskirts of Santander to avoid city walking and to make a nice eight mile day to Cudon where we are staying tonight.
We are really glad we skipped some parts of the Camino so far that consisted of walking on busy roads.
When I have trouble going to sleep at night I listen to Buddhist talks and the mindfulness usually puts me right to sleep. Last night I heard Joseph Goldstein tell a story about how he lived communally from ages 27-40 and decided to move into a house at Barre that had been donated for his use. He moved in and was immediately beset by doubts that he should not be living in the house and it was not right for a dharma teacher. He looked at it closer and realized that he didn’t feel that it was wrong but that he was embarrassed. Then he decided that he would rather be embarrassed than move out of the house. Our thoughts exactly.
Loving your posts! Unlimited undos? I never even suspected that might be considered cheating ;-}.
I love this piece. Very thoughtful. And I think I will always remember that phrase ‘cheating at solitaire’. You guys do an awesome job of creating your own journey. Have just spent a couple of very satisfying hours bringing myself up to date on this one. It looks so beautiful and I appreciate your blog giving me a taste of a place I will likely never be.
I have noticed the same thing on my treks. First the Lung Association 200 mile money-raising bike trek that Alex Barrero and I used to do, and then on my treks in the Himalayas. There is always someone who turns the activity into an athletic event — they have to reach camp first, walk the most miles in a day, etc,. etc.
You, as you have pointed out, have to ask yourself “what is the purpose of my camino (trek)?” And you can point out to people that in the middle ages, pilgrims would often spend days at a religiously significant site along the way — the point of the trek for them was absolution from a sin (or crime) they had committed. And you can also point out that you are 70ish, retired, and not in a rush :-).
Full disclosure: I have to admit that on my last trek in the Annapurnas (Himalaya range) I did enjoy seeing the faces of the 20-something-year-olds when I passed them on the trail. You could see “I was just passed by grandpa” going through their heads. Of course, I have several advantages: I live at 5,000 feet, I hike nearly every week in the Sandia foothills and walk 3 miles a day nearly every day, and before the trek I did some serious training by doing La Luz regularly for a couple of months. Lots of people passed me — it wasn’t as if I was “Mr. Atlas” or anything like that, or even the oldest person on the trail (there were quite a few hikers in the 70s).