Sometimes in solitaire games I change the rules a little. Some people might call this cheating but how can you cheat in a game against yourself? Another example is unlimited undos. I think of it as changing the rules to make it a better game for me. Still you can’t help but feel a little bit bad about it.
So far we have stayed in hotels and B&Bs every night (above is where we are tonight) and have not stayed in an albergue (pilgrim dorm) yet. Sometimes we feel a little guilty about it, like we are not real pilgrims. Also we only walk 7-10 miles a day and we sometimes feel a little guilty about that. Sometimes we are embarrassed when we talk to other pilgrims about where we started or how long we have been walking.
But it seems to me that this is similar to cheating at solitaire. We are just making the Camino rules so that it is the best possible Camino for us. Other people might want to do it differently.
There is an expression people on the Camino often use: “Everyone walks their own Camino.” People say this a lot but it is not clear how much people mean it. We continually shock people when we tell them how far (or not far) we walk each day. There is a lot of bragging about how far one goes each day. It is clearly higher status to go farther.
I remember getting on a bus on our first Camino with someone who was walking long days to keep up with a group of pilgrims he had hooked up with but his blisters had gotten so bad he was forced to take a rest and take the bus for a stretch. A major reason people walk farther than they want to is to keep up with a group they are walking with.
This morning we took a taxi five miles to the outskirts of Santander to avoid city walking and to make a nice eight mile day to Cudon where we are staying tonight.
We are really glad we skipped some parts of the Camino so far that consisted of walking on busy roads.
When I have trouble going to sleep at night I listen to Buddhist talks and the mindfulness usually puts me right to sleep. Last night I heard Joseph Goldstein tell a story about how he lived communally from ages 27-40 and decided to move into a house at Barre that had been donated for his use. He moved in and was immediately beset by doubts that he should not be living in the house and it was not right for a dharma teacher. He looked at it closer and realized that he didn’t feel that it was wrong but that he was embarrassed. Then he decided that he would rather be embarrassed than move out of the house. Our thoughts exactly.
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